Crazy Little Thing Called Love

By: Lani

Disclaimers: The Characters in Quantum leap do not belong to me. I don’t mean to infringe upon the copyrights of anyone who was involved in the making of the show.

This was not a plan. This was an impulse.

I hadn't stopped to think; I didn't dare. I simply moved and kept moving until I reached my destination. It was only after I arrived that I realized how hasty and thoughtless I might have been.

I drew back to collect myself and found that I was shaking and damp all over. I glanced around, praying that he wouldn't be there and begging for his presence.

But he was there, just like I knew he would be. And the reality of him far exceeded my expectations. More vibrant in flesh than in fantasy, more vivid than any imaginings, he took my breath away.

I closed my eyes and swallowed.

He was so close. It wouldn't take much to get his attention, just a gesture or a slightly raised voice. The temptation was so great, but the risk was even greater. One poorly chosen word, one misstep, and I could change so much. I could ruin everything.

I exhaled and a shudder ran through me.

It wasn't too late. I hadn't been noticed, I hadn't done anything. I could play it safe, play it sane, and Time would march on like a dutiful soldier.

I told myself to get out of there, but I couldn't move.

The clock was ticking, and I knew this moment was all I had. When would an opportunity like this present itself again? When would we ever be in this time, in this place?

I took another deep breath and slowly walked further into the room.

When Sam had finally come home I was away in Washington fighting with those nozzle about the project and missed him. I found it more disturbing when I was told he never asked for me all week. It hurt like hell that he didn’t want to see me. I finally couldn’t stand it anymore so I came to find out why and to tell him how I truly felt about him if I had the guts too. I knew it was a crazy thing to do but my feet automatically took me to his quarters without me even realizing it. Now I wasn’t sure if I still had enough guts to go through with this and knew I was getting cold feet.

I had realized sometime during Sam’s leaping around that I felt more for him then just simply friendship. Hell I had fallen hard for him and didn’t even know it. All this time I had been chasing after women and trying to find what I wanted in a life partner and for over 20 years it was staring me right in the face. I never thought I could fall in love with a man let alone my best friend. Years ago if some nozzle had even made a pass at me I would have beat them silly and now I was the one who had to get up the courage to make the pass or something at my best friend. I was worried that he would reject me and punch my lights out for even suggesting it. Then what if he does like men but he’s not interested in me? What if he said ‘Sorry, Al, but you’re not my type?’ Or worse yet if he told me why I’m not his type. What if he told me I was too old, fat, or that I ran around or drank too much? What if he told me I wasn’t worth the hassle of even trying? The more I thought about it the more my head was spinning and I was starting to feel very nauseous from it. I unconsciously started to rub my stomach to try and ease the nausea and groaned. When I looked up I realized it too later to turn back now. He knew I was here.

He had a very shocked expression on his face when he came over and placed an arm around me to try and keep me steady. I was still trying to get used to the fact that we weren’t holograms to each other anymore. When he finally spoke he said, “Good God Al! What are you doing here?! Are you feeling all right? Maybe you should come over and sit down before you fall down?” I nodded and allowed him to lead me to the couch in the living area.

I leaned back into the pillows on the couch and continue to rub my stomach out of nervousness. I finally said, “I’m here to find out why you didn’t ask for me at all since you came home, Sam. I wasn’t aware that we’re not friends anymore. If it’s something I did or said I’m sorry but I don’t want to loose your friendship if it can be helped.”

Sam said, “Christ, Al. Your just not supposed to be here. I didn’t think I would ever see you again. I expected you to be with Beth and have a family by now. That’s why I never asked for you. I didn’t think anyone would know who the hell you were. I’m sorry. Really I am. I just didn’t know you were here.” He put a hand on my knee trying to comfort me and it sent a rush of sensation through my whole body. I had to concentrate on keeping control of my emotions.

I replied, “At least now I know why you didn’t ask for me. Jeez I thought I had pissed you off about something and now you didn’t want to talk to me anymore. Wait a minute. You thought I would be with Beth and have a family? Why?”

Sam whispered, “Because, Al. I did what you asked. I convinced Beth to wait for you. I remembered how much you loved her and I honestly tried to get her to stick around.”

I started to think and now knew why I had a memory of Beth leaving me after declaring me dead and then one where she was waiting for me when I came home from Vietnam. I replied, “No wonder I remember her waiting for me now when I didn’t before. We were married for 2 more years and then finally she had enough of my drunkenness and partying. I never cheated on her though because at the time I loved her too much. We got a divorce and I still married 4 more times and ran around a lot. It’s not your fault. At least I screwed up my marriage instead of her taking off with a lawyer. We still talk once in a while but not often. I don’t hold any bitter resentment toward her this time because I now it’s my fault I lost her.”

Sam said, “Al, I’m sorry.”

I just tried to smile and replied, “It’s all right. It doesn’t matter now. I appreciate you giving me the chance to still have her.” I patted his knee and smiled at him.

He asked, “Are you feeling any better?” I nodded and he got up and left the room. When he came back a few minutes later he had brought me a glass of water with lime. We sat in silence together for a while and then he asked, “So I heard Tina and Gooshie got married.”

I said, “Yeah. About a year ago and now their expecting a little bundle of joy. Tina asked me to be its godfather. I told her I’d think about it.”

Sam replied, “Well. I think you would have made a good father and I’m sure you’d be a good godfather too.”

I just laughed at that. I replied, “Yeah. I make a lousy husband but I do have a way with kids. I never really understood it myself. I probably never would have been there for them anyway. Oh well. Maybe it was better that I never did have any kids. The hell they would have gone through would have been horrible.” I pulled out a cigar and gestured with it and lifted and eyebrow. He understood my unasked question of whether he minded if I smoked.

He replied, “Go ahead but do remember I won’t always let you smoke in my quarters.” I nodded understanding and unwrapped it. I struck a match and lit it. I took a couple of puffs to calm my nerves and waited for Sam to say something.

He had sat next to me on the couch again and as we talked we wound up closer to each other until finally I kissed him without thinking. After a few minutes I realized what I had done and abruptly stood up. I shakily ran my hand over my face and blurted, “I’m sorry but I think I’d better go. I’ll see you later, Sam.” I heard him yelling for me to come back but I didn’t stop until I got inside my own quarters and got a drink of scotch while I puffed on what was left of my cigar. I couldn’t believe I had done that. In a few minutes my hormones would have taken over and then all hell would have broken loose.

I wanted to get smashed but then I knew Sam would be even madder at me so I just sat on the couch and tried to calm down. After a few minutes passed I heard a knocking on my door. Then I heard Sam saying, “Al? Would you please open the door? I need to talk to you.” Finally I got up and opened the door. I made sure I kept my distance from him. I didn’t want anything else to happen. Sam was trying to get my attention and I wouldn’t face him. I felt his hands on my arms and he spun me around to face him. He held me tightly and asked, “What’s wrong? There’s something bothering you. I can see it in your eyes. Please tell me.”

I quietly asked, “Do you promise not to beat the tar out of me?” When he nodded I whispered, “I’m in love with you, Sam.” I waited for him to hit me but he released the death grip he had on my arms and hugged me. I was shocked and wondered what he was going to do about it.

He said, “That’s what’s bothering you? Well don’t worry about it. I feel the same way about you.”

I thought I was hearing things. I asked, “What did you say?”

He said, “I’m in love with you too, Al.” I fell into his embrace and cried like a baby. He held me while I cried and ran a hand up and down my back.

When I stopped crying I moved out of his embrace and wiped my eyes with a tissue. I asked, “Are you sure, Sam?” When he nodded I didn’t know what to say. I sat down on the couch again and San came over and took hold of my hands. I was very flattered and happy but had one thing I needed to know, “Why?”

Sam replied, “Because you’re a very loving, caring, kind person. I love your personality and if there is one thing I learned while leaping it was to look inside the person instead of on the outside. I do admit I find you very attractive and cute though. If you give me the chance, Al, I’ll never leave you and I’ll love you until the day you die.”

I smiled and replied, “All right, Sam.” He leaned in close to me and kissed me and after a while it grew very passionate. We had our hands all over each other and my head was spinning. As time went by we managed to get each other’s clothes off without ripping them apart. We also wound up on the floor on my Aztec design carpet. Eventually Sam wound up on the top with me on the bottom and he was rubbing his erection against mine in frenzy until I felt him come against my stomach and I soon followed. Eventually he rolled off of me so that I could breath again. He rolled beside me and put his head on my shoulder. He cuddled close to me with an arm across my stomach. He was gently rubbing his hand up and down my side. I felt the happiest and most content I ever have felt in my life. I finally felt whole. I soon fell asleep.

The next morning when I woke up I wasn’t on the floor in m quarters anymore and I was cleaned up. I thought for a couple minutes there that it was all a dream until I felt an arm wrapped around my middle and a head on my shoulder and I know it wasn’t a woman who was next to me. I looked over and saw Sam next to me and started to worry about if he will still want me when he wakes up. What if he changed his mind? I had a thousand questions going through my head and then he woke up and looked at me.

His smiled faded when he saw the worried look on my face. He asked, “What’s the matter, Al?”

I simply replied, “Nothing, Sam. I was just a little surprised that you were still here although I am pleased. I also was wondering how we got to my bed if we fell asleep on the floor in the living area.”

He replied, “I carried you to bed. Why wouldn’t I still be here?”

I replied, “Well, ah, I, uh kinda thought you might have possibly uh changed your mind about us.” I turned away from him and waited for his reaction.

He gently pulled me to face him again and caressed my cheek with his hand. He replied, “Of course I didn’t. Nothing could change my mind now. Maybe in time you’ll be able to accept that, Al.”

I said, “But you’re still young enough to have a family of your own. I’m just an old, fat, ex-jet jock that used to drink too much and chase after women.”

Sam sighed and said, “You’re not that old and so what if you’ve packed on a few pounds? I think you’re cute even though you do have a belly. You don’t drink anymore or at least not to excess like you used too. As for the women I’m not going to force you to stay away from women but I will warn you that if you decide to make a total commitment that I will not stick around to watch you cheat on me. Finally I don’t care about having a family as long as I have you, Al. You are my closest family.” He kissed me on the forehead, cheeks and then the lips. Then he settled down and ran a hand up and down my belly. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer.

After a while he started to tease me by sucking on my neck. I automatically moved my head to the side to give him better access to it and he sucked a little harder when he realized I liked it. I started to pant and said, “Jeez, Sammy. That feels good.” While he did that he started to play with my nipples with his free hand. Then he moved his mouth down to them and I felt him licking, sucking and biting them. I started to gasp and moan from the pleasure I felt from it. I was getting harder and hornier by the minute and was shocked when Sam actually started sucking on me. I started bucking against him but he wanted to take it slow and that frustrated the hell out of me. Eventually he sped up and I felt him trying to suck me dry as I came. He moved back up next to me and gave me a kiss. I said, “That was amazing, Sam.”

He replied, “I’m glad you liked it, Al. By the way did I hear you call me Sammy?”

I replied, “I’m sorry, Sam. I didn’t even realize I said it until now. I won’t call you it again.”

He smiled and replied, “No, Al I want you to call me Sammy. I remember you used to do it before and after I leaped. You didn’t call me it often but I enjoyed it when you did.”

I chuckled and replied, “All right, Sammy.” He snuggled next to me and sighed. I felt his erection poking against my leg and knew I had to do something about it. I just did the same things to him that he did to me with a little variation. I was rolling his balls in my hand while I sucked on him. When he came I almost choked because there was so much and it was coming so fast. After he started to relax I moved back up next to him and he put his head on my shoulder again. He thanked me and I ran my hand through his unruly hair.

Eventually we had to get up and go to work. I took a shower first and made some breakfast for us. When Sam came out of the bathroom he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I could tell he was trying to distract me and I wanted to scold him but I was enjoying it too much. I heard Sam whisper, “God, Al. I’m truly sorry I forgot who you were when I first leaped. I don’t know how I could have.”

I replied, “It’s over and forgotten, Sammy. Besides you were so Swiss Cheesed you hardly even knew who the hell you were.”

Sam replied, “But it had to have upset you.”

I sighed and walked to the kitchen counter. I leaned on it and sadly replied, “All right. Yeah it hurt. It hurt like hell that you had no idea who the hell I was even though I had been your best friend for almost 20 years. I was worried you would never remember who I was and the friendship we had. I’m just very glad that you did.”

Sam smiled and said, “Me too, pal. Me too.” He came over and gently turned me to face him and lightly kissed my lips. After a few minutes we ate and got dressed for work. I actually wore something fairly simple for a change. I just wore my white suit with the cream accents on the lapels, one of my cowboy ties, an earth tone shirt and my white sneakers. I knew we had to drop into business mode as soon as we walk through the door and I really didn’t want too. We kissed again and then opened the door and made our way to our office. I always was pretty good at acting detached from the situation for the most part unless Sam was in some kind of danger. We worked on paperwork and business issues all day. We would give each other a glance or a look once in a while that meant that we had each other on our minds.

At the end of the day my mind was totally numb from working so hard because I had been away in Washington for a week and my desk was covered in paperwork. I leaned back in my chair and put my feet up on my desk crossing them at the ankles and lit a cigar. Sam walked back in the room and walked over to where I was sitting. He handed me my coffee cup. I smiled in thanks and started to drink it. The cup was white and had music on it in black all the way around it on the musical lines. Sam had bought me that cup the first year we became friends. I’ve used it and kept it in good shape ever since then. I had been very surprised that he had gotten me anything. I never expected it since I didn’t really have hardly any friends throughout my life. I then was determined to get him something he had been after for a long time. I went through a lot of trouble to get it but I finally managed to get a hold of the sheet music for a rare opera. It took a lot of hunting down and money to find it but it had been worth it. The kid’s face lit up like a Christmas tree and he hugged and thanked me a dozen times over. Hell he even lifted me off the ground and swung me around in a circle. I just smiled at him and told him, “I’m glad you like it, pal.” After that it always became a yearly ritual to get each other Christmas and birthday presents. He had started buying me my vast pin collection. He would give me at least 2 for my birthday and Christmas. By time he leaped I had a good-sized pin collection. I would get him CD’s, sheet music, books that I knew he would be interested in, and stuff like that.

When my mind finally came back to the present I felt Sam’s concerned eyes on me. When he asked me if I was all right I told him, “Yeah. I’m fine. I was just reminiscing and must of just drifted off on you. Sorry, Sam.”

He chuckled and replied, “It’s fine, Al. I just wanted to be sure you were all right. After all I plan on being here for you from now on and if you need anything or just want to talk all you have to do is ask, OK?” I nodded at him and finished my coffee.

Until he had leaped into that accelerator he had always been there for me whether I wanted him to be or not. There were times when he drove me crazy with his concern and I wanted to haul off and hit him to get him to go away. I just wasn’t used to some one caring that much about me. I eventually got used to it and found I enjoyed the attention.

The day finally ended and I convinced Sam to call it quits for the day. We locked our office and walked together to the cafeteria for dinner where we ran into Gooshie, Tina and Verbena. We sat at their table and chatted with them. I didn’t talk much while I ate. Sam did most of the talking and he was engrossed in it. I felt like the odd man out so I finished my dinner and excused myself. I knew Sam would find me when he wanted me so I went outside and sat on the rock face that was there. I lit a cigar and puffed on it while I was thinking. I was interrupted when I heard footsteps coming in my direction. I looked to see who it was and noticed it was Verbena. I leaned against the rock again and waited for her to reach me. I asked, “Get tired of listening to physicists and programmers talking, Bena?”

She laughed lightly and replied, “Well I will admit they are a little out of my league. That’s not why I’m here though. I came looking for you. You looked a little depressed at dinner and thought you might like to talk to some one.”

I replied, “Well I don’t think you’d understand what’s bothering me. Hell you probably wouldn’t even want to know after I told you.”

She smiled and replied, “Try me, Al.”

I sighed and said, “All right. You asked for it. I don’t know that much about quantum physics and I felt like I didn’t belong there so I left. The thing that annoyed me was Sam didn’t even realize or care that I was gone. I’m too old to play games anymore. Either he wants me or he doesn’t. I don’t mind him talking shop but I would at least like him to acknowledge that he heard me. You see last night our relationship drastically change. I told him how I felt about him and he told me he felt the same but I don’t want to take the backseat to his project. I understand the importance of it to him but he needs to find a way to fit me into his schedule too.”

Bena asked, “You mean you two are lovers, Al?” When I nodded she replied, “I think I better sit down. I thought it might be possible for Sam to be interested in men because of how little he wants to do with women but I never thought you would. I’m not bother by it, Al. I’m just a little surprised. But if you want this relationship to last you might want to tell Sam how you feel. The best thing is to be honest and open about your feelings.”

I had to agree with her there. I went back to my quarters after I talked to her. I was still smoking my cigar while I walked. When I got back to my quarters I took off my suit jacket and hung it up in my closet. I also took off my cowboy tie and put it with the others. I unbuttoned the first two buttons on my shirt, got a drink and sat down on my couch. After I finished my cigar and drink I decided to go to bed early. I got into my pajamas and got in bed. I fell asleep and was waken by someone ringing the door chime. I stumbled out of bed, threw my robe on and answered the door to get whoever it was to stop ringing the chime.

When I opened the door I was surprised to find Sam on my doorstep. I asked, “What the hell do you want at 3 in the bloody morning?”

He replied, “I think we need to talk, Al. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings at dinner. I honestly didn’t intend too. You know how I get when I start talking about something I find exciting and interesting. It’s kind of like you when you get wrapped up in a game.”

I just replied, “Yeah? Well at least I don’t ignore my partner now matter how wrapped up I am, pal. I at least bother to be aware of where they went too. I bet you weren’t even aware that I had left the cafeteria.” My body was starting to wake up and I knew I’d never get back to sleep again so I just let him in and plopped down on my couch. He sat next to me but knew enough to keep his distance for the time being. I was tired, miserable and not in the mood to have a conversation with the prince of prudence at the moment but I knew either we talked now or our affair would be over before it started.

Sam replied, “All right. I admit it. I didn’t know that you left until I looked where you had been sitting and found you were gone. By then Verbena had left too and I didn’t know where to look for you so I just decided to wait. I ran into Verbena later and she ripped my head off but I don’t know why. She told me to talk to you and maybe I’d get the answer to that question. I asked Ziggy where you were and decided to come here before I lost the nerve to do it. What was she talking about?”

I sigh and said, “Aw shit. I talked to her about us and how I felt. I guess she figured I wouldn’t yell at you myself so she did it for me. You see, Sam, when you started totally ignoring me I got pissed off. I don’t mind if you talk to Gooshie and Tina about Quantum physics for a little while but should at least find another topic that we can all be included in and can talk about as a group once in a while instead of totally ignoring us like you did. Then there was the fact that you didn’t seem to care if I left or what happened to me. Fine life partner you’re gonna make. Let me inform you on something. When you spend time with your partner (boyfriend or girlfriend) you need to pay attention to them and actually care about them. You don’t ignore them and expect them to be perfectly happy with it. Believe me I’ve lost many a partner over that kind of thing until I changed my tune. I’m not trying to take up all your time, Sam. I just want some of it where we have time to talk together on a topic we both know instead of me listening to you talk about something I have very little knowledge in with other people constantly without a break. That’s why I left. I just could take it anymore. I had enough of being totally ignored and figured it was better that I left seeing that it didn’t look like you were going to stop anytime soon. I’m not trying to act like the jealous husband or anything but everybody wants time alone with his or her partner, Sammy. If you would rather not….then I’ll understand.” It would break my heart after everything we had admitted but I would somehow understand. When I finished I leaned back into the cushions and waited for him to talk.

Sam looked liked I had just slapped him in the face. He replied, “God, Al. I’m truly sorry. I should have realized how you felt. I’ve been your friend for 20 years. No wonder why you always disappeared when I would start up with Gooshie. I don’t know why I just started to ask about it. Maybe because of how our relationship has changed and I now I kinda of have the right to ask about you. I promise I’ll try not to ignore you so much when that happens. I understand since our relationship changed now naturally we’ll both be more possessive of each other and each other’s time. Please give me another chance, Al?” I nodded at him and held out my arms. He curled up against me and nuzzled my neck with his nose. I held him close and caressed his arms while he listened to my heartbeat. He asked, “Do you want to go back to bed?”

I replied, “I won’t be able to sleep, Sammy.”

I felt him move to look up at me so that he could look me in the eyes. I met his gaze and he asked, “We could cuddle couldn’t we?” I nodded and he got up from the couch and led me to the bedroom. We got in together and he curled up against my side while I held him. Soon I heard him start to nod off to sleep. I whispered, “Goodnight, sweetheart.” Then I kissed his forehead and tried to get some rest of my own.

When Sam woke up later in the morning I opened my eyes to find him watching me. He smiled and said, “I thought you were asleep.” He lightly kissed me on my lips before he sat up and had me put my head in his lap. I did find it comforting to be in that position. He got me to look up at him and said, “I love you so much, Al. I don’t ever want to loose for a stupid reason like what happened yesterday. Promise me you’ll tell me if I’m hurting you in anyway so we can talk about it before it ruins us OK?” I nodded and turned my face back to the side so that he wouldn’t see the torrent of emotions I was fighting inside me at that moment. I’ve never felt as happy as I did right now. Not even with Beth. I just hoped the rest of our lives we would be able to work out whatever happened between us before it tore us apart. I guess we would find out as the years progressed and what events took place. All I did know was I loved this kid with all my heart.

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THE END