A Big Fight

By:Lani

Disclaimers: The Characters in Quantum leap do not belong to me. I don’t mean to infringe upon the copyrights of anyone who was involved in the making of the show.

Warnings: M/M relationship, Some profanity, sexual relations

Al:

It had taken telling Sam how I felt about him but surprisingly he felt the same about me. We then started a torrid love affair and although we were in love and the sex was great we still had our problems. We would fight and argue during the day and make hot passionate love at night. He spent more time with his work then he did even just talking to me unless we were fighting. It was pissing me off and finally I had enough.

We were arguing over funding when I yelled, “Funding?! I work my ass off to get you the funding you need for this damn project, Sam! If you’re not happy with the way I do it then do it yourself! I’m sick of being treated like this, Sam! I am not your slave, gopher or any other degrading thing you can think of! I’m your best friend and lover for Christ sake! I’m not going to be mentally abused anymore, Sam!”

Sam replied, “Oh? Now I’m mentally abusing you? Well who wanted to start this love affair, Al? I agreed to it but it wasn’t my idea! I don’t even know why I try! You’re just an old, fat, womanizing, drunken ex-jet jock! Whenever I need your help your either out doing the Bingo Bango Bongo with some chick with big casabas or getting drunk! I’ve had it up to here with you, Albert Calavicci!”

I stood there shocked. He knew I hadn’t cheated on him since we had been a couple or gotten totally smashed in the 20 years we’ve known each other. I replied, “Fine, Sam! Maybe you’d be better off without my useless ass pulling you down!” Then I whispered, “Good-bye, Sammy.” I left and went to my quarters and started to pack. Then I started to think about how much my life revolved around Sam. I didn’t have any family except for him. I had nowhere to go and no one to go to. I was completely alone and I went into a deep depression. I opened my medicine cabinet and saw the bottle of sleeping pills that my doctor had given me when I had insomnia. I started to think about Sam’s words and started to cry. He was right. He doesn’t need me around anymore. He’d be better off without me. All I do is create trouble anymore. I took out the bottle and got a glass of water.

Sam:

After I started to calm down about an hour later I realized what I had done. I had taken my best friend’s trust and ripped it apart. I wanted to beat myself over the head for it and knew I had to apologize to him. I asked Ziggy where he was and when she told me he was in his quarters I went to talk to him. When I got there and didn’t get an answer at the door I had Ziggy override the access code. I was determined to talk to him. I called for him and looked around until I found him on his bed. I went over to wake him up and he didn’t move. I caught glimpse of a bottle on the nightstand with half a glass of water. I looked at it and saw that it was empty. It was his sleeping pills and there had almost been a full bottle this morning. I immediately called a medical team and checked for a pulse. It was still fairly strong so he must not have taken them that long ago and just recently passed out from them. They pumped his stomach and stabilized him. He still wasn’t awake yet though. I never thought I would be the one pacing. I started to realize just how much my opinion of him matters to him. I had been cruel to the point that for some reason or another he took an overdose of sleeping pills. I had hurt him worse than I ever had before but then again before we weren’t lovers either. I was determined to make it up to him as soon as he woke up. I realized that if I lost him I wouldn’t know what to do.

After a few hours Al woke up and I took his hand tightly. I said, “Al? Can you hear me?”

He was groaning and muttered, “God. I can’t even commit suicide right.”

I asked, “Why did you try that? You scared me half to death. I thought I had lost you.”

He replied, “You were right about me, Sam. I’m old and useless. I figured you would be better off without me. If I was gone you wouldn’t have to worry about me getting in your way anymore.”

I started to silently cry and replied, “God, Al. I was angry. I didn’t mean what I said. I just took out my anger and frustration on you again. I’m truly sorry and am very glad you didn’t succeed in killing yourself. I love you so very much and I don’t want to loose you. I promise I’m going to make it up to you.”

I gently encircled Al in my arms and held him close to me. I felt him start to shake with sobs until he fell asleep again. I pulled back and sat in the chair by his bed. I held onto his hand until I fell asleep a while later.

Al:

When I woke up again, after I made a fool out of myself by sobbing in front of Sam, he was still sitting there with me and holding my hand when I woke up again. When I moved to try and get more comfortable I woke Sam up. I couldn’t believe Sam still wanted me to be with him after everything that had happened.

In a week or so they let me go home and Sam moved in with me. I told him he didn’t have to but he was determined to live with me. I eventually gave in and he moved his belongings to my quarters. He was trying to treat me like I should be treated. We made love every night as many times as we could and he kept asking if I was happy, how I was feeling, and if I needed anything. I was enjoying the attention but at the same time it was starting to drive me nuts. I wanted to be shown that he loved me but I didn’t want him to smother me to death. After I managed to convince him I wasn’t going to try to kill myself again he backed off and gave me the space I needed when I needed it. The government decided to keep on PQL and cover up the fact that I had tried to commit suicide. As time went on life got back to normal again and we were happy. Then he jumped into that damn accelerator and my whole life started going to hell. I had to deal with my life partner being lost in time somewhere, the government threatening to stop our funding, and them calling us lying crackpots.

When I first stepped into the Imaging Chamber and saw Sam I smiled. I talked to him about things I had told him before until I realized he didn’t even know who I was anymore. I’ve always been good at hiding things so until I came out of there I held together and didn’t let on that I was extremely hurt. After I got out of there as soon as I was in control I told Gooshie what was happening and went back to our quarters. I fell face first on the bed and sobbed for the first time since that terrible fight we had. I was ready to choke Sam if he came back alive. I eventually felt a hand on my shoulder and I rolled over fast and knocked the person off balance and onto the floor. I looked over the edge of the bed and saw Verbena on the floor frowning at me.

Verbena said, “You know, Al, I was only trying to comfort you.”

I got off the bed and walked over to the dresser to look at my reflection and grimaced. I looked tired, my eyes were red and sore from crying and my hair was a mess. I snapped, “How the hell was I supposed to know it was you if you didn’t say something, Beeks. Besides I have to deal with this and I’ll find a way to cope with it. At least I know he’s still alive.” I sat on the bed and put my head in my hands and rubbed my face. After a few minutes Beeks realized she wasn’t going to get me to talk anytime soon so she left me alone making me promise not to do anything to harm myself. I said, “Don’t worry about me, Bena. As long as Sam needs me I’m not going anywhere or going to do anything to myself.” I fell asleep soon after to exhausted to care about anything else.

The next 5 years were pure hell. If I told Sam anything about him or me I was reprimanded and I had to revert to blackmail to get out of it. I couldn’t leave Sam alone out there even after he got Donna back as his wife and my life took a turn down the road of ca-ca without our relationship. I only had our friendship left to keep me going and because Ziggy knew about my relationship with Sam before the leaps started I could atleast talk to her about it.

When Sam and I simo-leaped I remembered more then I let him know. It broke my heart to see him run out to Donna but I knew it had to be that way. I was in my own way hoping I would keep leaping so I didn’t have to go back to PQL. I don’t know if he ever remembered us while he was home or not but I do know when he finally comes back I’m going to have to leave as soon as I can. I don’t want to be here if I can’t have him as my partner. I’ll still be his friend but I just can’t be this close to him and not want to do something we’d both probably regret later.

Eventually Sam did leap home and it was all I could do to keep from running into the waiting room and kiss him until he couldn’t breath. He didn’t ask for me so I just left and went back to my office to do some work. I ended up getting smashed and passing out in my chair after I threw some of my breakables against the walls. I woke up to Sam shaking me half to death asking, “What the hell are you doing here?”

I slurred out, “Whadda ya mean. I work here, buddy. I’m you’re damn hologram or did you forget who I was again? Of course if you want me to leave that’s fine. I’ll go pack and be on my way.” I got out of my chair and fell right into his arms. If he hadn’t caught me I would have been face first on the floor. I felt him pick me up under my legs and back to carry me. I just wrapped my arms around his neck, put my head against his shoulder and savored the moment. I knew I should be fighting to get away but I was to drunk and in love to care. I passed out while he was carrying me.

Sam:

When I was told by Verbena that Al was at the project I couldn’t believe it and I ran to his office. What I found scared me because from what my memory recalled he hadn’t gotten smashed since he was at Star Bright and beating up vending machines. I woke him up and he got obstinate with me telling me he was going to pack and leave. He got up and if I didn’t catch him he would have cracked his head on his desk. I could tell he was in no position to walk to his quarters so I picked him up and carried him there. Somehow I remembered doing this many times but not with him drunk but I did carry him to the bedroom. My mind was still Swiss-cheesed and I would have to wait until all the pieces fell together. I got him to his quarters and gently set him down on the bed and suddenly had a flash of watching him sleeping naked and peacefully. It wasn’t an unpleasant thought but odd since I was married to Donna. I also remembered running my hands through his soft, silky, curly hair as we kissed? Huh? Ok I have to sort my thoughts out. Maybe I’m confusing Donna with Al seeing they do have some similarities.

I sat down at Al’s terminal and connected with Ziggy. I had a sudden flash of Al in a hospital and sobbing in my arms. Then I had a flash of us in bed together making slow passionate love. I called up all the records from Ziggy and the original timeline. I had Ziggy tell me what it was. She said, “In the original history, father, you and the Admiral were lovers and had a perfectly committed relationship. There were a few bumps along the way like the time the Admiral tried to commit suicide over a terrible fight the two of you had and was rushed to the hospital. When he came home you proved how much you loved him until the day you jumped into the accelerator. You managed to break his heart even more when you changed history so you married Dr. Alessi. What you are remembering did happen, father. I wish it had stayed the way it was. You two were a cute couple.”

I couldn’t believe what I had done. Now I hated myself for forgetting who Al was. Jesus not only was he my best friend but he was my committed life partner too. I slammed my fist on the table next to the terminal and growled, “Damn it, Al! Why didn’t you tell me!”

“Because I didn’t have a choice, Sam. You left orders not to tell you anything and I blackmailed a lot of people to get out of the jams I got into for what I did tell you.” I looked up into Al’s sympathetic eyes and couldn’t take it anymore.

I had to vent so I took it out on him again. I snapped, “Well, I think the fact that we were a serious couple was an important enough thing to tell me, don’t you?!”

He sighed and replied, “It didn’t matter, Sam. After the 3^rd leap you had fucked up our lives together anyway by getting Donna back with her father again. You had her waiting for you here and I didn’t have anyone so I just made up people out of thin air to get at your goat and in my own way get even for the hell you put me through. I’ll be packed and gone in a couple of days and you won’t have to worry about me destroying your marriage.” He went back into the bedroom and shut the door. I followed and found him sobbing silently on the bed in a fetal ball. When he heard me he whispered, “Please, Sam. Just go home to your wife. Leave me alone.”

I didn’t know what to do so I did as I was told and found out I should have left well enough alone. Donna was a control freak. She immediately started to interrogate me the minute I walked in the door. She was yelling, “Where the hell were you? Why didn’t you come home sooner? Who were you with? OH you were with Al. Maybe you should just move in with him then! You were always with him since the beginning anyway! You spend more time with that old, alcoholic putz then you do with me!”

I just quietly packed my things and as I left said, “You know what, Donna? You’re right. I do belong with Al. At least he loves me! I think I’m correct that we both want a divorce? Ok then I’ll talk to our lawyer about the papers this coming week.” With that I left the house to go to Al’s quarters at PQL. That’s if he wanted me back. It was pouring rain out and I arrived on his doorstep wet. I told him, “It’s over, Al. We’re getting a divorce. She just wanted more than I could give her. I’ve come to ask to try it again if you’ll take me back.”

His eyes teared up and he wrapped his arms around me and said, “Of course I will, Sammy. Under one condition, you’re all mine from now on no matter what.” I nodded against his ear and he pulled me inside the door, locked it and as we pulled our clothes off he led us to the bedroom. After we made love I started to think about the future as Al slept by my side with his head on my shoulder but I was sure whatever it would be it would be wonderful as long as we were together.

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THE END